The List: My Requirements In A Husband

photo courtesy of jcreationzs

I got this idea from my sister and I think either Lindsey or Bonnie meant to write about it long ago. I thought it would better if I did it anyway as I am the single one among the three of us. I've never done anything like this before, but after a conversation I had with one of my friends last night, I thought I'd give it a shot. Here is my high list of requirements a man must fulfill in order for me to marry him, not really in a particular order.

I: Thou shalt beith independent

This means so many things, but I only take it in the most basic sense. He must be independent from his family. I don't mean he should be estranged from his family. I only mean that he shouldn't live at home or need to call his parents or siblings for every decision in life. He should only need to confer with them for the big choices. He must also be independent from his friends. Again, not saying he shouldn't be close, but he needs to be strong enough not to have to act a certain way with them or be intimidated to differ from them about anything, which also means he shouldn't be afraid to say what he thinks. Lastly, he must also be independent of me, to an extent. I am the last person in the world that can handle someone being dependent upon me. One guy tried it once, and he learned very quickly how I couldn't bear a weak or needy guy. Basically, he should just stand on his own two feet and act the same around his friends, family and me. This is critical as we are the people he's closest to in his entire life. Call me crazy, but I thought this one of the most defining traits of men in general. In LA, I've discovered this is not the case, and I can't say enough how disappointing it is to me.

II: Thou shalt beith intelligent

This is a given, but if I'm going to marry someone, I'm going to marry my equal. I couldn't last with someone less intellectual than I am for a day, or I should say he couldn't last with me. I can be friends with people less intelligent, but marriage is combining with the other perfect half that fits you. We can have intelligence in different areas and our brains may function differently, but we need to be able to keep up with each other or it will just feel like a school counselor with a one-child remedial class, and no relationship like that can last.

III: Thou shalt havith ambition

Going back to the man-child discussed in requisite #1, my husband must break away from the teenage tendency to not want to do anything, usually because he has not outgrown that phase, which is probably because his parents didn't really help in this department. I'm not demanding that he aim for an executive position in some office occupation or start his own business, but he must have something driving him toward something good. He doesn't have to have a college degree or be after making as much money as possible, but I don't want to date a guy whose ambition is trying to make store manager. I don't like that guy for several reasons. I'd be happy with him earning a low or decent wage at a non-profit organization or as a teacher or numerous other things as long as he's not, pardon me for lack of a better word, a tool, and is happy doing something not only for his own gain, but for the better. This could mean working at an ordinary job and using time and money for this true passion, but no matter what, he is pursuing it.

IV: Thou shalt be funny

I can't be close to someone that doesn't have a sense of humor. I think most people feel that way. There's no joy in that and it's too difficult for me not to make fun of things. If he can make me laugh, I'll never get sick of him.

V: Thou shalt not called after my brethren

I don't think this crosses many people's minds, but I just can't fathom dating anyone with the same name as my brothers. It's too weird. It's weird just meeting someone that can be considered attractive that has their names. It makes me shutter. There are boundaries you just don't cross. Luckily, one brother is named after my dad, so there are only two names for me to avoid. Sadly though, they have the common names of Jake and Tim.

VI: Thou shalt love all animals

I love animals, probably because I grew up with so many. But, I also grew up with a dad that didn't really like them. So, I've seen what life can be like with someone that's not an animal lover. I think most guys do love animals, though. I mean, most single guys that live by themselves have a dog.....or a cat, because they need some constant companionship. Basically, I'm always going to have animals, so he needs to want this, too.

VII: Thou shalt not beith a homebody

Someone that sees this is going to know exactly what I'm talking about ;-) That's a little bit where I got it from, but not entirely. I like to hang out at home, but when I can, I generally like to do things. I don't look at leaving the house as 'only if I have to' or 'there's something I really, really want', unlike some people. I come and go freely not thinking 'gee, now that I'm doing this, I don't get to lounge at home'. Plus, I love to travel. He must be wanting to venture places,because it is quickly becoming my favorite thing. I've done study abroad programs in Europe the last two summers and I plan on going back again with a friend this summer. Plus, I have friends wanting to visit LA for the first time and I have a few other trips planned as well. He must be up for these things. This could mean going to San Diego, New York or Dublin, or having fun showing people around town here. For our traveling, I'll negotiate when and where, but he cannot be wanting to be at home and definitely not whining about it. If you're lucky enough to travel, you better be happy.

VIII: Thou shalt be able to dress thyself

Maybe I should have one of these requirements to be mature, but I think it's too broad. One thing that bothers me is guys that can't dress themselves properly. It's as if they have no idea what matches or any clue as to what style they're attempting. They may also wear the same thing over and over. Sometimes they literally wear the same articles of clothing over and over until they have to wash it. Basically, they look like a giant thirteen year old, completely awkward and unaware of what they are doing wrong. Yes, this can be remedied, but it's more difficult than it sounds. You don't want him to just follow fads or look like someone that he's not, because that could end in Ed Hardy, neon colors or an attempt at a J Crew ad. It would just be easier if he already had this figured out, but if not, he must be willing to change his wardrobe.

IX: Thou shalt not want to livith in thy city permanently

I am originally from just outside Chicago, but I grew up mostly in Colorado. I spent the majority of my adolescent years in a tiny mountain town, and I loved it. Yes, there wasn't much to do, but we made our own fun. And after hearing stories from my friends who have grown up in LA, I now have no doubt I had more fun and overall better childhood. My husband must want to move to a small town, and before we're forty-five.

X: Thou shalt beith easy-going

I'm a very laid back person and I don't think the notion of opposites attract applies to me. I can't handle those who are high-strung, self-centered or anyone that is polarizing in any way for long periods of time, because at some point I will put them in line possibly causing them to have some sort of rude awakening, panic attack or just simply cause them to hate me. I also have qualms with people that complain constantly out of habit. Besides, as a man, I think you should be in control of yourself in this capacity.

XI: Thou shalt not playith video games often

I think this also goes along with maturity. I generally hate video games. There are some exceptions such as Mario Kart, 007, Paper Mario and Wii Sports. These are mostly short games where you play against other people as just one way to have some fun. This does not entail playing them everyday in three to eleven hours stints. I can't have a serious relationship with anyone who has video games as priority in life.

XII: Thou shalt beith handy

Part of being a man is the ability to take care of his home. I'm not saying he has to be an expert and be able to fix anything that breaks, but he needs to be able to do basic things such as changing car oil, laying kitchen tile or stopping a roof from leaking. I just can't see a guy as manly if he can't put together patio furniture or is lacking fundamental knowledge of tools.

XIII: Thou shalt beith a Christian

I'm saying for the sake of my family. Just kidding. For obvious reasons, it's what I know is right and if we match on this, we will match on every important level.

I'd like to think that the list is not too demanding, yet weeds out some prospects. The great thing is now I have something to direct a guy to for future reference rather than having to explain this time and time again ;-)

Featured Wedding of the Week: Old Fashioned Seaside Elegance

It's Saturday, which means one thing. It's another edition of Inspiring Pretty's featured weddings! As always, if you'd like to have your wedding showcased, please submit it to us here. Now, onto the prettiness.

This week we'll be exploring the classic beauty of a simple, old fashioned seaside affair. This wedding is beaming with natural themes and simple traditions from years ago. Notice the bird decorations and small, simple flower arrangements. There's also gorgeous streamers and feathers, traditions dating back centuries to celebrate the couple as they leave the church. Like a classic event, nuptials took place in the church, and also dating back centuries, the wedding party marched in public to the reception celebrating the marriage. The rest of the gorgeous and down-to-earth party can be seen even greater in the photos!

pictures courtesy of Stylemepretty

When a Man Loves a Woman

I love my husband. I love him to tears. This morning I woke up to a few things that I expected but reminded me of just how much this man of mine means to me.

Every V-Day, Movie Star gives me flowers and a card. Pretty standard for today, but this morning was a little different. Those roses there are from the climbing rose bushes outside our apartment building. Okay, you say. So what? Well, I'm telling you! Climbing roses are my absolute favorite and every time the Spring comes around, I get so excited to watch them reach their full bloom.

Over the past few weeks, as they have begun this transformation, I have oo'd and aw'd over the loveliness I see from my kitchen window. So waking up to a few of them lying on the dining room table said so much to me:

"I pay attention to the words you speak."

"I know you love pretty things, and desire to bring those things to you."

"I'd rather give you flowers that have meaning, than spend money on one's that don't."

"Because I took my time to choose and pluck each little rose, my time is not more valuable than your smile."

And then there's the card. Most greeting cards these days are cheesy or full of prewritten poetry. Though you can find cards which express how you're feeling, sometimes it comes across impersonal. In fact, I couldn't even find one for Movie Star this year! I had to take a blank card and make it my own. Anyway, in Movie Star's card it was the few simple words I saw in his terrible handwriting that struck my heart: "All I can guarantee is that I love you and you will always be happy no matter where we are and no matter what we are doing." He and I have been through a big hot mess the last two years and we simply can't see a way out. By him telling me this, he is saying that he will do anything and everything he can to make sure I'm happy every day.

But don't get the wrong idea about this guy. When he gets mushy he gets uncomfortable too, so he has to add something funny to it. After I told him about the Vintage Valentine's Cards I was going to write about we laughed hysterically at one of them (the very last one). So at the bottom of the card he wrote:

"P.S. Fork over your heart....." I laughed until I cried. Then I gave him a big kiss.

What a man......

8 Unique Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts on the Web

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and for those who haven't bought a gift yet for your loved one, have no fear, I've found 8 gifts from all around the world wide web for you. Some are fun, some are romantic and all are unique.

1.) Personalized M&M's

This isn't a new idea, but that doesn't make it any less cool. Write a message to your significant other or just put their pretty little face on it. They won't forget this gift anytime soon, and will probably want to keep a few for the rest of year. You can find them on Mymms.com.

2.) World's Largest Gummy Bear

Weighing in at 4.5 LB, this chewy candy will back childhood memories, and the size will make it something an adult can appreciate. For the boyfriend/girlfriend expecting chocolates, this is sure to surprise them and bring a smile. You can find them on Amazon.com as well as gourmet candy shops near you.

3.) Lovopoly

This is a cool twist on Monopoly which is designed to set the mood for couples. It can also be personalized by adding your own pictures and choosing the names of the properties. If you don't want something detailed, there is a standard setup that all couples can enjoy. You can find it on Lovopoly.com and numerous other websites.

4.) Love Pillowcases

These adorable things also bring back simple and childlike love. Hopefully this charm will rub off on you and your husband/wife each time you climb into bed, especially on Valentine's Day. They can be found in several different designs on several sites including Amazon.com.

5.) Photo Rubix Cube

For some entertainment that will last, this is a fun gift for guys or girls. As you can tell by the name, it is a customizable toy where the cubes are your picture rather than colors. There are some that are digital as well that can display up to 10 pictures. This is perfect for your nerdy spouse that thinks they're much smarter ;-) and is sweet and sentimental at the same time. You can find it on Kleargear.com as well as several others.

6.) Fake Roses

I know this sounds odd, but there is a reason behind it. There's a great line that can only be said with fake flowers. It may be corny, but if you're sentimental, it is sweet. The line is simply 'I will love until the last petal falls off'. Not too shabby, eh? This is a very simple gift and as people are scrambling to find roses under $70 on Valentine's Day, you can wander into a craft store or buy more high-end silk flowers on Alforal.com or Overstock.com.

7.) American Gothic Painting by Grant Wood Recreation

For those with a sense of humor, this a the perfect silly gift. Solidify your relationship by immortalizing it in the work of art that is the epitome of bland. If you want to make your boyfriend, laugh, you have found one of the most unique ways to. You can find it on Findgift.com.

8.) Create Your Own Chocolate

I love this website dearly. At Createmychocolate.com you can build chocolate bars your way, or should I say your Valentine's way. You can choose your chocolate type, confections, spices, contents and decorations. Ingredients range from rose petals, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and bacon to gummy bears, mint leaves and gold flakes. It's truly the best source for chocolate. Tell your loved special someone that you got them chocolate and then surprise them with this amazing treat.

It's the last major shopping day on the internet before Valentine's Day, so buy quick and good luck! If you buy one of these gifts, I hope it makes you look as if you put some considerable thought into it.

Thursday Throwback: Valentine's Cards

With Valentine's Day almost upon us, it's time to really start thinking about your valentine cards. Whether it be a card for that special someone in your life or fun and cool cards for your kids to take with them to school, it's always a treat to find something that no one else out there will be giving to their Valentines. But where, among the hubub of lovey-dovey cards and silly Spongebob Squarepants valentines, can you find something that stands alone.

If that's where you find yourself these days I have a really great solution for you: Vintage Valentine's Cards. If you have never seen some of the old cards for yourself, you have to take a look because not only are the images so fabulous but the sayings are so unique, romantic and even a bit funny! I am going to get one or two for myself this year.

Image courtesy VintageHolidayCrafts.com

Image courtesy VintageHolidayCrafts.com

Image courtesy VintageHolidayCrafts.com

This one is my absolute favorite because, well, just read it and you'll see for yourself. To me it's hilarious that a creepy little girl is peering out from behind a large fork saying:

So Why Are You Single?

I get this question a lot, and it being Valentine’s Day time, it makes me think of it more often than usual. First off, it’s only fair for me to let you know a little bit about me. I’m a 22 year-old college student in LA that works on a few websites. I’m a pretty normal girl, so I guess that’s why people always puzzle over why I’m not with a guy. I always find this weird, because I think the answer is obvious. Isn’t it evident that when a (normal) person isn’t in a relationship that it’s because they are not in love? Love is the only reason to be in a relationship, so if I’m not in love, why should I be trying to get into one? And obviously, it’s never a good idea to go around trying to get with someone, because that’s not the way it works. You’ll probably only trick yourself into thinking you feel something because you’re looking for it so badly and possibly ruin your life for a few years even worse, maybe permanently.

I guess I don’t understand why people are in such a hurry to pair off, even if they’re ‘not sure’ how they feel about each other. Don’t they see that being in that special relationship that involves only one other person in the entire world is immensely remarkable? I know I must not be the only one that still believes in true love and the extraordinary thing that it is. I believe in love that’s meant for only two people. When I think of it, really, I think of It’s a Wonderful Life. Yes, I know it’s a movie, but what I’m referring to perfectly illustrates my point. When George Bailey saw what life would be like if he were never born, he saw his wife, Mary, as a single woman. If she hadn’t met George, she would have never married. There would have never been anyone she met that she couldn’t live without and she would have never been in love.

So as we live in a time where two or three marriages are a commonality as divorce rates for first marriage as around 50%, it seems to me that people are losing their senses. Don’t they know when they are in true love? That’s why I feel like it’s such an odd question to hear ‘why are you single’? I thought the answer was obvious.

If you are married, I hope you are certain that you are with the love of your life. If you are, I’m happy for you for finding that person. If you are in the same situation as I am, it’s good to know others have enough principles and courage to not feel the need to be in a relationship without the proper cause of true love. As for me, as I have not met the guy I felt strongly enough about, and definitely no one yet for my family to meet ;-), I will use my head and stay single until I’m in love. Until then, I guess I’ll just need to think up some clever responses.

Valentine Chocolate Delights

Valentines Day means many things to many people. Love, roses, soul mates, romance; but to most of us it is just a great excuse to eat lots of yummy chocolate. And if you're like me, its one of your only opportunities all year to indulge with abandon. So don't waste this day on cheap, stale chocolate. Go all out for your loved one (and possibly yourself). There are always the gourmet chain standbys like See's and Godiva. But if you're looking to branch out, here are a few lesser known confectionery connoisseurs.

William Dean Chocolates

These chocolates are truly a work of art. From the stylish magnetic closing box to the colorfully handcrafted pieces. And with flavors like Banana's Foster, Grapefruit & Tarragon, Port with Fig & Plum and Rosemary Caramel, a box of these can be quite the culinary experience. My favorite flavor is the Tropical Caramel, mmmm. As you may have guessed, this collection is probably not for your meat-and-potatoes, never-wants-to-try-new-things  kind of guy. The flavors are sophisticated and may be an acquired taste for some. If you are ready to take this flavorful carpet ride, pull out your wallet because like most gourmet chocolates, it's gonna cost you. A 20-piece box sells for $50. Or you could cash in on a little televised saving. HSN.com has the same box for $40. They also have on-air V-Day specials today (2/01) featuring WD Chocolates, so you may be able to get a better deal there.

Mignon Chocolates

I love Mignon Chocolates for several reasons. One, you can build your own box so you're not stuck with 'those chocolates' that no one wants to eat. Two, they're pretty. Three, they come in a variety tempting flavors. Four, at $1/piece they are reasonably priced. And five, They are ridiculously delicious. They don't have that hard chocolate shell and sugary sweet filling that Russell Stover has accustomed us to. The shell has the pliable texture of fine chocolate and the filling is just sweet enough with a hint of flavor.

Fannie May

Perhaps its the mid-west girl in me, but I can't make a chocolate list without mentioning Fannie May. The flavors are not as refined and the pieces are not as beautiful as some. But if you are looking for a basic box of quality chocolates then this is the place for you. Ideal for the aforementioned meat-and-potatoes guy. You get perfectly confected creams and caramels without straying into the unknown world flavor experimentation. They come in a variety of beautiful boxes and offer a create-your-own-box option as well. They cost about $26 for a 1lb box (about 28 pieces).

Leonidas

If you're in a major city, chances are you are familiar with these freshly crafted Belgian candies. They are the Dean & Deluca of the chocolate world and it is easy to see why. They offer a variety of daring flavors like Tequila Sunrise and Africa Pearl, as well as the traditional fresh butter creams, ganaches and pralines all prepared to world famous standards. A typical 1lb box runs about $36.