The List: My Requirements In A Husband

photo courtesy of jcreationzs

I got this idea from my sister and I think either Lindsey or Bonnie meant to write about it long ago. I thought it would better if I did it anyway as I am the single one among the three of us. I've never done anything like this before, but after a conversation I had with one of my friends last night, I thought I'd give it a shot. Here is my high list of requirements a man must fulfill in order for me to marry him, not really in a particular order.

I: Thou shalt beith independent

This means so many things, but I only take it in the most basic sense. He must be independent from his family. I don't mean he should be estranged from his family. I only mean that he shouldn't live at home or need to call his parents or siblings for every decision in life. He should only need to confer with them for the big choices. He must also be independent from his friends. Again, not saying he shouldn't be close, but he needs to be strong enough not to have to act a certain way with them or be intimidated to differ from them about anything, which also means he shouldn't be afraid to say what he thinks. Lastly, he must also be independent of me, to an extent. I am the last person in the world that can handle someone being dependent upon me. One guy tried it once, and he learned very quickly how I couldn't bear a weak or needy guy. Basically, he should just stand on his own two feet and act the same around his friends, family and me. This is critical as we are the people he's closest to in his entire life. Call me crazy, but I thought this one of the most defining traits of men in general. In LA, I've discovered this is not the case, and I can't say enough how disappointing it is to me.

II: Thou shalt beith intelligent

This is a given, but if I'm going to marry someone, I'm going to marry my equal. I couldn't last with someone less intellectual than I am for a day, or I should say he couldn't last with me. I can be friends with people less intelligent, but marriage is combining with the other perfect half that fits you. We can have intelligence in different areas and our brains may function differently, but we need to be able to keep up with each other or it will just feel like a school counselor with a one-child remedial class, and no relationship like that can last.

III: Thou shalt havith ambition

Going back to the man-child discussed in requisite #1, my husband must break away from the teenage tendency to not want to do anything, usually because he has not outgrown that phase, which is probably because his parents didn't really help in this department. I'm not demanding that he aim for an executive position in some office occupation or start his own business, but he must have something driving him toward something good. He doesn't have to have a college degree or be after making as much money as possible, but I don't want to date a guy whose ambition is trying to make store manager. I don't like that guy for several reasons. I'd be happy with him earning a low or decent wage at a non-profit organization or as a teacher or numerous other things as long as he's not, pardon me for lack of a better word, a tool, and is happy doing something not only for his own gain, but for the better. This could mean working at an ordinary job and using time and money for this true passion, but no matter what, he is pursuing it.

IV: Thou shalt be funny

I can't be close to someone that doesn't have a sense of humor. I think most people feel that way. There's no joy in that and it's too difficult for me not to make fun of things. If he can make me laugh, I'll never get sick of him.

V: Thou shalt not called after my brethren

I don't think this crosses many people's minds, but I just can't fathom dating anyone with the same name as my brothers. It's too weird. It's weird just meeting someone that can be considered attractive that has their names. It makes me shutter. There are boundaries you just don't cross. Luckily, one brother is named after my dad, so there are only two names for me to avoid. Sadly though, they have the common names of Jake and Tim.

VI: Thou shalt love all animals

I love animals, probably because I grew up with so many. But, I also grew up with a dad that didn't really like them. So, I've seen what life can be like with someone that's not an animal lover. I think most guys do love animals, though. I mean, most single guys that live by themselves have a dog.....or a cat, because they need some constant companionship. Basically, I'm always going to have animals, so he needs to want this, too.

VII: Thou shalt not beith a homebody

Someone that sees this is going to know exactly what I'm talking about ;-) That's a little bit where I got it from, but not entirely. I like to hang out at home, but when I can, I generally like to do things. I don't look at leaving the house as 'only if I have to' or 'there's something I really, really want', unlike some people. I come and go freely not thinking 'gee, now that I'm doing this, I don't get to lounge at home'. Plus, I love to travel. He must be wanting to venture places,because it is quickly becoming my favorite thing. I've done study abroad programs in Europe the last two summers and I plan on going back again with a friend this summer. Plus, I have friends wanting to visit LA for the first time and I have a few other trips planned as well. He must be up for these things. This could mean going to San Diego, New York or Dublin, or having fun showing people around town here. For our traveling, I'll negotiate when and where, but he cannot be wanting to be at home and definitely not whining about it. If you're lucky enough to travel, you better be happy.

VIII: Thou shalt be able to dress thyself

Maybe I should have one of these requirements to be mature, but I think it's too broad. One thing that bothers me is guys that can't dress themselves properly. It's as if they have no idea what matches or any clue as to what style they're attempting. They may also wear the same thing over and over. Sometimes they literally wear the same articles of clothing over and over until they have to wash it. Basically, they look like a giant thirteen year old, completely awkward and unaware of what they are doing wrong. Yes, this can be remedied, but it's more difficult than it sounds. You don't want him to just follow fads or look like someone that he's not, because that could end in Ed Hardy, neon colors or an attempt at a J Crew ad. It would just be easier if he already had this figured out, but if not, he must be willing to change his wardrobe.

IX: Thou shalt not want to livith in thy city permanently

I am originally from just outside Chicago, but I grew up mostly in Colorado. I spent the majority of my adolescent years in a tiny mountain town, and I loved it. Yes, there wasn't much to do, but we made our own fun. And after hearing stories from my friends who have grown up in LA, I now have no doubt I had more fun and overall better childhood. My husband must want to move to a small town, and before we're forty-five.

X: Thou shalt beith easy-going

I'm a very laid back person and I don't think the notion of opposites attract applies to me. I can't handle those who are high-strung, self-centered or anyone that is polarizing in any way for long periods of time, because at some point I will put them in line possibly causing them to have some sort of rude awakening, panic attack or just simply cause them to hate me. I also have qualms with people that complain constantly out of habit. Besides, as a man, I think you should be in control of yourself in this capacity.

XI: Thou shalt not playith video games often

I think this also goes along with maturity. I generally hate video games. There are some exceptions such as Mario Kart, 007, Paper Mario and Wii Sports. These are mostly short games where you play against other people as just one way to have some fun. This does not entail playing them everyday in three to eleven hours stints. I can't have a serious relationship with anyone who has video games as priority in life.

XII: Thou shalt beith handy

Part of being a man is the ability to take care of his home. I'm not saying he has to be an expert and be able to fix anything that breaks, but he needs to be able to do basic things such as changing car oil, laying kitchen tile or stopping a roof from leaking. I just can't see a guy as manly if he can't put together patio furniture or is lacking fundamental knowledge of tools.

XIII: Thou shalt beith a Christian

I'm saying for the sake of my family. Just kidding. For obvious reasons, it's what I know is right and if we match on this, we will match on every important level.

I'd like to think that the list is not too demanding, yet weeds out some prospects. The great thing is now I have something to direct a guy to for future reference rather than having to explain this time and time again ;-)

Featured Wedding of the Week: Old Fashioned Seaside Elegance

It's Saturday, which means one thing. It's another edition of Inspiring Pretty's featured weddings! As always, if you'd like to have your wedding showcased, please submit it to us here. Now, onto the prettiness.

This week we'll be exploring the classic beauty of a simple, old fashioned seaside affair. This wedding is beaming with natural themes and simple traditions from years ago. Notice the bird decorations and small, simple flower arrangements. There's also gorgeous streamers and feathers, traditions dating back centuries to celebrate the couple as they leave the church. Like a classic event, nuptials took place in the church, and also dating back centuries, the wedding party marched in public to the reception celebrating the marriage. The rest of the gorgeous and down-to-earth party can be seen even greater in the photos!

pictures courtesy of Stylemepretty

Featured Wedding of the Week

We are so excited to begin this new weekly post! Weddings are one of those things that add beauty to lives. By sharing how some have made their precious day perfect, you can inspire others to create a special day all their own. What we will be doing is highlighting a different wedding every Saturday. For now, we will be scouting the web for weddings that tug at our heart but we would eventually love to share yours! So, whether you were married last week, last year or 50 years ago we would love for you to share your day with us so we can share it with our Inspiring Pretty readers. Simply submit your wedding here and we'll check it out!

For now, here is a wedding I found at Love and Lavender. It is actually the wedding of the creator of the site Aileen and her husband Ben at the Beau Lodge an hour and half north of Seattle. What caught my eye was the simplicity and down-right old fashioned backyard wedding feel it has. And that's exactly why I chose it.

Starting with the floral arrangements. These bouquets - made by the bride, bridesmaids and mother of the bride - hold simply white roses, pink ranunculus and those sweet yellow billy balls. So backyard bushel, yet colorful and elegant.

I think that fun bridal party photos are the best! Since these two had a croquet area set up, it's fantastic that they took advantage of it. They didn't try to create an elaborate backdrop, but just used the clearing and gorgeous greenery to make a memory that lasts a lifetime.

The guestbook is where people can take all kinds of liberties and be as creative as possible. Aileen and Ben decided to have people write on notecards giving advice, well-wishes or their own memories of the couple. This is a great way for your guests to feel like they'll have some impact in your future. My favorite parts are the wooden sign and the roses sitting pretty in a glass jar. Effortlessly delightful.

Held in this gorgeously vintage suitcase are wedding programs, made by the bride and groom themselves. The pinwheels were also. These two are rather crafty....

The ceremony has no floral arrangements, no trellis. The focus is completely on what's happening at the end of the aisle. No one will be able to take their eyes off the glowing couple.

The table decorations make me squeal out in excitement. Again, we find these wildflowerish arrangements inside glass jars and milk bottles, but the key to this set up is the colorful array of books which lend, ever-so-slightly, to the backyard barbeque feel.

Congratulations to Aileen and Ben for an old-fashioned meets weathered-chic wedding. Oh yeah ..... and for getting married!

So Why Are You Single?

I get this question a lot, and it being Valentine’s Day time, it makes me think of it more often than usual. First off, it’s only fair for me to let you know a little bit about me. I’m a 22 year-old college student in LA that works on a few websites. I’m a pretty normal girl, so I guess that’s why people always puzzle over why I’m not with a guy. I always find this weird, because I think the answer is obvious. Isn’t it evident that when a (normal) person isn’t in a relationship that it’s because they are not in love? Love is the only reason to be in a relationship, so if I’m not in love, why should I be trying to get into one? And obviously, it’s never a good idea to go around trying to get with someone, because that’s not the way it works. You’ll probably only trick yourself into thinking you feel something because you’re looking for it so badly and possibly ruin your life for a few years even worse, maybe permanently.

I guess I don’t understand why people are in such a hurry to pair off, even if they’re ‘not sure’ how they feel about each other. Don’t they see that being in that special relationship that involves only one other person in the entire world is immensely remarkable? I know I must not be the only one that still believes in true love and the extraordinary thing that it is. I believe in love that’s meant for only two people. When I think of it, really, I think of It’s a Wonderful Life. Yes, I know it’s a movie, but what I’m referring to perfectly illustrates my point. When George Bailey saw what life would be like if he were never born, he saw his wife, Mary, as a single woman. If she hadn’t met George, she would have never married. There would have never been anyone she met that she couldn’t live without and she would have never been in love.

So as we live in a time where two or three marriages are a commonality as divorce rates for first marriage as around 50%, it seems to me that people are losing their senses. Don’t they know when they are in true love? That’s why I feel like it’s such an odd question to hear ‘why are you single’? I thought the answer was obvious.

If you are married, I hope you are certain that you are with the love of your life. If you are, I’m happy for you for finding that person. If you are in the same situation as I am, it’s good to know others have enough principles and courage to not feel the need to be in a relationship without the proper cause of true love. As for me, as I have not met the guy I felt strongly enough about, and definitely no one yet for my family to meet ;-), I will use my head and stay single until I’m in love. Until then, I guess I’ll just need to think up some clever responses.

Keeping Romance Alive

When I was reading my Couple's Devotional Bible the other day, I came across one of the Daily Discussions which spoke about how the "honeymoon period" of a marriage can so easily fade away to leave it lonely, dull and lifeless. Having been married for 4 years, this struck me because the last thing I want is for my marriage to have become vapid. I want my husband and I to always be "in love", keeping our romance evergreen. I love what the authors of this daily discussion Les and Leslie Parrott had to say on the matter:

The frequent expressions of affection and approval that couples give each other during courtship and in the honeymoon stage can dwindle in the first years of marriage. You may still love each other just as much, but you start to talk about it less.

Contrary to the fairy tales we were weaned on, romance always fades. But you can keep your romantic love alive long after the honeymoon has ended. The secret is simple: Do everything you can now to establish lasting habits of loving behavior.

The habits you develop now can lead either to actions that will nurture lifelong love or to behaviors that will sabotage love. The little things you do now - without thinking - will shape your relationship for years to come. So pay attention to those little things.

We tend to think about romance on a grand scale - such as the perfect, once-a-year getaway - and neglect the little opportunities that present themselves every day. Consider how you greet one another after work, or how well you incorporate common courtesies like saying "please" and "thank you". Be sure to maintain a dating habit too, to keep your marriage from falling into the doldrums of working all week and coming home to collapse on the weekends.

Keep love alive - starting now - by establishing daily habits of romance, passion and intimacy. Your honeymoon will become more than just a memory. It will become a way of life.

Though my husband and I love each other very much (and tell each other so everyday) it is hard to find romance. My hubby is not an overly romantic man to begin with, so I have to take the things that he does daily, and turn them into my romantic moments. Like when he consistently does the dishes when I'm not paying attention, when I come home at the end of the day and he has cleaned up the house, when I'm making dinner or brushing my teeth and he hugs me from behind and kisses my neck. And my favorite is when he calls me "Lover Girl" in a baby voice. I think finding these moments in a mature marriage is more about spontaneity than planned events - though those are wonderful as well. But when you are together and you can laugh about something or stop to recognize the enchanting moment you're in, you've found your romance.

5 Funniest Marriage Proposals

If you read our site regularly, you can see that I absolutely love weddings. It's a once in a lifetime event, and to have a wedding, you must first have a proposal. One reason that I love proposals so much is that they vary so greatly. Every guy wants to surprise the girl they propose to but most guys go for the most romantic way. Some guys with more of a sense of humor take a funny approach (and I think their girls are the luckiest). Below are the five funniest (but tasteful) proposals I've come across.

# 5

This is the most public proposition of the list. A boyfriend used his girlfriend's favorite show to get her attention. He paid for a commercial during her favorite show to pop the question via national television. His girlfriend received the shock of her life and he got a fiance.

# 4

This boyfriend wanted a live audience for his shenanigans. At a basketball game, he rigged the halftime game so that his girlfriend would be chosen from the crowd to be the participant. In the game, she was blindfolded and told she had thirty seconds to run around the court and find the mascot to win free tickets to a future game. Needless to say, she found the mascot and started jumping up and down for joy thinking she had won. As she took off her blindfold, the mascot knelt down and pulled out a ring instead of tickets. She was shocked, then the mascot head came off revealing her boyfriend. She may have been a little ticked off that she didn't really win the game, but she did get a finance out of it.

# 3

One boyfriend put his movie skills to good use creating a major-motion-picture-quality movie trailer ending with him on his knee. He then got his local theater to go along with him to help him carry out his plan. They played his trailer when he and his girlfriend came to watch a movie, making them both stars.

# 2

One man took advantage of knowledge that his girlfriend checks out Groupon everyday for deals. He hooked up his own deal with Groupon to have the giant coupon company make his proposal deal of the day. Other customers may have been angry that they didn't get a daily coupon, but there was definitely one deal bought that day.

# 1

The most inventive (and personal favorite) is entertaining in many ways. One gutsy guy took his girlfriend's camera and let her think she lost it. A few days later, he magically found it for her at her house. She frantically checked if the camera and her pictures were okay. As she browsed through her photos, she found some that she had not taken. To propose, her boyfriend had made a a makeshift slideshow using his clever wit, a dry erase board and about thirty pictures of as many different expressions he could think of. I'm just curious how she gave her answer of yes.

If you're looking for some inspiration to propose or are just looking for a good laugh, I hope this list helps!