Keeping Romance Alive

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

When I was reading my Couple's Devotional Bible the other day, I came across one of the Daily Discussions which spoke about how the "honeymoon period" of a marriage can so easily fade away to leave it lonely, dull and lifeless. Having been married for 4 years, this struck me because the last thing I want is for my marriage to have become vapid. I want my husband and I to always be "in love", keeping our romance evergreen. I love what the authors of this daily discussion Les and Leslie Parrott had to say on the matter:

The frequent expressions of affection and approval that couples give each other during courtship and in the honeymoon stage can dwindle in the first years of marriage. You may still love each other just as much, but you start to talk about it less.
Contrary to the fairy tales we were weaned on, romance always fades. But you can keep your romantic love alive long after the honeymoon has ended. The secret is simple: Do everything you can now to establish lasting habits of loving behavior.
The habits you develop now can lead either to actions that will nurture lifelong love or to behaviors that will sabotage love. The little things you do now - without thinking - will shape your relationship for years to come. So pay attention to those little things.
We tend to think about romance on a grand scale - such as the perfect, once-a-year getaway - and neglect the little opportunities that present themselves every day. Consider how you greet one another after work, or how well you incorporate common courtesies like saying "please" and "thank you". Be sure to maintain a dating habit too, to keep your marriage from falling into the doldrums of working all week and coming home to collapse on the weekends.
Keep love alive - starting now - by establishing daily habits of romance, passion and intimacy. Your honeymoon will become more than just a memory. It will become a way of life.

Though my husband and I love each other very much (and tell each other so everyday) it is hard to find romance. My hubby is not an overly romantic man to begin with, so I have to take the things that he does daily, and turn them into my romantic moments. Like when he consistently does the dishes when I'm not paying attention, when I come home at the end of the day and he has cleaned up the house, when I'm making dinner or brushing my teeth and he hugs me from behind and kisses my neck. And my favorite is when he calls me "Lover Girl" in a baby voice. I think finding these moments in a mature marriage is more about spontaneity than planned events - though those are wonderful as well. But when you are together and you can laugh about something or stop to recognize the enchanting moment you're in, you've found your romance.


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